


It Started With a Watch

by 9haharharley1



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Flirting, Gun Violence, Implied Relationships, M/M, Minor Character Death, Rating May Change, haven't decided yet, might continue, might leave as a oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 19:10:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7066543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/9haharharley1/pseuds/9haharharley1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Joker crashes a party. Just an ordinary Friday, really. But he's never actually met Bruce Wayne before. Maybe he'll make it a regular occurrence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Started With a Watch

There was a loud _BANG_ as the doors to the banquet hall burst open and a gunshot cracked through the air. Men and women alike screamed and shouted, some ducking for cover. Others stood frozen in shock as Gotham City’s very own Boogie Man strolled casually into the large room, henchmen in clown masks toting large sacks hot on his heels.

 

“Dear ladies and gentlemen!” the Joker addressed the panicking crowd. “This evening’s entertainment has finally arrived! Please, if you would be so kind, we’re taking payment in the many expensive baubles you all are no doubt carrying on your very important selves.” The hench-clowns circled the room, roughhousing any man or woman who wouldn’t drop something shiny in their totes. The Joker made a sweep of the room with his gun, placing his free hand to his chest with a flourish. “Please make all checks out to yours truly, The Joker, capital T, capital J. I will also accept Emperor Joker, Clown Prince of Crime, Seymour, or Mr. Joker.” He strolled around the room, acid green eyes observing his boys slowly but surely filling their sacks. “My, you all are being such a wonderful audience! So attentive.”

 

“Why are you doing this?!” some woman called out, her voice bordering on hysteric. The clown paused mid-step and the room seemed to fall dead silent. One of the hench-clowns grabbed a pretty young blonde from the front of the crowd and dragged her forward. She struggled futilely in his grip, nearly tripping over her heels. The Joker turned to her, casually strolling in front of her, noticing the fat tears welling in her eyes.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said, sickly sweet and glaring. “Did you have a question?” The woman shook her head slowly. “No? Because it sounded like you had a critique of tonight’s performance.” He motioned the gun towards her face, the muzzle caressing her temple lightly. “What was it you had to say now?” He pressed the gun more firmly to her temple. She whimpered. “Don’t worry, dear, I can take it. I’ve been told I don’t take criticism all that well, but go on. Let’s hear what you have to say.”

 

The woman let out a sob. “Please…”

 

“Oh, honey, now don’t do that!” the Joker whined. He stood up straight, fixing his lapels. “You gotta face death with some dignity! None of that crying and whining. Who will respect you if you can’t stare down the barrel of a gun and laugh at it?”

 

“Uh… Boss?” One of the hench-clowns stepped forward from the other side of the room. The Joker looked away from the now blubbering woman, a frown tugging at his too red lips. He stared down the henchman who addressed him, the man’s hands fidgeting.

 

“Yes?” the Joker asked calmly.

 

“Um… We found-” _BANG_. Horrified screams filled the banquet hall.

 

“Don’t interrupt me!” the Clown Prince screamed at the dying man. The hench-clown made a pained gurgling noise, almost like sizzling bacon, before collapsing in a bloody heap on the white marble floor. His blood added some much needed color to the hall. “Now, what was he saying?”

 

Two more of his goons hesitantly stepped forward out of the crowd, a man dragged by both arms between them. Those in the audience who could get a good look at the man murmured in shock and curiosity. “We found him trying to sneak out the back,” one of the clowns said. They threw the man to his knees, dark hair obscuring his features.

 

“Really?” the head clown crooned. He none to gently shoved the blonde woman away from him and practically skipped to the captive man. “And who do we have here? Trying to escape and get to a phone, were we?” He kneeled down on one knee so he could be level with the raven haired man. “Going to call the police, were you? Be all noble and heroic?” The Joker pressed the muzzle of the gun to the man’s chin, forcing him to tilt his head up. Dark blue eyes stared back at him from a handsome face and the jester’s grin widened in pure glee. “Or maybe you were going to save your own expensive skin, Mr. Wayne?”

 

Nervous titters echoed through the banquet hall as Bruce Wayne met the Joker’s acid stare. He managed a small, nervous smile. “Well, you know how it is,” he said boldly. “Sometime you have to run from the spotlight.”

 

“And save your own skin?” The Joker huffed out a laugh. “Why, Brucie, I didn’t know you were so selfish!”

 

Bruce gave a tiny shrug. “I try.” The Joker laughed some more.

 

Around the room, hench-clowns and party-goers alike were sharing nervous and unsure looks with their neighbors. They all shared a similar thought:

 

Was Bruce Wayne actually _joking_ with the Joker?

 

The Clown Prince of Crime turned his head to face the rest of the audience, a wide grin on his pale face. “At least one of you losers will admit to your faults!” He turned back to the billionaire. “I didn’t think it would be you of all people, but hey! What do I know?” He shrugged.

 

“In that case let me introduce myself properly,” Bruce said. He held out his hand, the goons still standing on either side of him tensing at the motion. “Bruce Wayne, billionaire playboy. I don’t believe we’ve ever met.” He flashed another nervous grin, all shiny white teeth and strong chin. Joker could have slapped him.

 

Gun still shoved under Brucie’s chin, the Joker’s grin turned more feral, but he shook Wayne’s hand with his free one. “Joker, Gotham’s very own Clown Prince of Crime.” Bruce’s hand was firm and heat seeped through the Joker’s purple gloves. Joker jerked him forward, gun pressing harder into the soft meat of Bruce’s chin. “A pleasure to meet you, Brucie.” Acid green bore into dark blue. “Now, I hate to do this before the first date, but I’m gonna need that shiny Rolex you’re wearing. My rent is due, and I’m afraid I’m short a few thousand.” He let go of Bruce’s hand.

 

Wayne, to his credit, didn’t even glance away from the madman in front of him as he unclipped the expensive watch. The Joker was intrigued. No one had ever managed to stare him down unflinchingly, without an ounce of terror. There was one man who could and he had yet to show up, much to the clown’s disappointment, but Bruce was certainly making up for that.

 

“Here.” Bruce held out the watch. He flashed one of those oh-so-charming smiles, one that made him even more handsome than he already was. “This should be enough for the next few months.”

 

The air in the room seemed to still completely as the Joker continued to stare down the billionaire. Bruce Wayne made a joke to the _Joker._

 

The Joker bit his lip. His grip on the gun slackened a bit and a wide smile split his lips. “Who’d have thought that Gotham’s least interesting socialite had a sense of humor!” he crowed. His armed hand relaxed, instead resting on his knee. “I don’t know if anyone told you, sugar plum, but, ah… I make the jokes around here.” He took the watch.

 

Shrugging his surprisingly broad shoulders, Bruce smiled apologetically. “I didn’t mean to steal your thunder. I wouldn’t consider myself very funny.”

 

Joker patted Brucie’s cheek, almost wishing he wasn’t wearing gloves so he could feel the smooth skin underneath. “That’s all right, pumpkin. I’ll forgive you this once.” He waved a finger in front of Wayne’s face, grinning. “But only because you’re pretty!”

 

“Um, boss?” one of his goons spoke up from near the windows. “There’re cops outside.”

 

In the sudden uncomfortable silence of the room, it wasn’t too hard to make out the police sirens just outside the building. Commissioner Gordon’s voice could just barely be heard over a loudspeaker. “Joker! Come out with your hands up and nobody gets hurt!”

 

Said Clown Prince of Crime sighed, staring out the far window almost wistfully. “Isn’t that just how it goes?” he asked no one in particular, placing the watch in his inner coat pocket. “You’re having a barrel of laughs, but someone just has to be the party-pooper.” With his free hand, he reached into his jacket pocket, the crowd tensing. They waited for the Joker gas, the acid, or another one of the crime clown’s many horrible gimmicks, but all he did was pull out his signature calling card. Giving Bruce another wide grin, he slipped the joker card into the man’s breast pocket, patting his chest once it was placed (and my, did Brucie have some firm pectorals. How much did he work out when he wasn’t schmoozing women?). “My card,” he told the billionaire. He lightly tapped Bruce’s chin with a finger. “Call me sometime, handsome.” With that, he stood and turned on his heel.

 

“This is your last warning, Joker!”

 

Joker rolled his eyes. “Sorry, Commish, but you’re no Batman! Come on, boys. I think we’ve collected enough for next month’s rent. Let’s blow this popsicle stand!”

 

The dead silent crowd finally shrieked and whimpered at the words. The Joker hopped over the dead body of his former henchman, the only casualty of the night. The Joker frowned at that. Next time, he’d be sure not to get distracted by handsome billionaires and kill at least one more person. Or maybe he wouldn’t. It all came to him in the moment, and this moment told him it was time to go. His favorite playmate hadn’t shown up (what a disappointment!), but he got to flirt with Bruce Wayne (not quite so disappointing). Actually, that had been rather fun! Maybe he’d do it again. That didn’t seem so bad of an idea…

 

As he made his way out of the back of the building, goons close behind and narrowly dodging bullets to the getaway van, the Joker thought that he might actually pay Bruce Wayne a visit. It’s a wonder he never tried before.

**Author's Note:**

> Haven't decided if I'm going to continue this. I wrote it on a whim.
> 
> Come join my cat and I on tumblr: [cuddlefishkad](https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard)


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